December 2010
2 posts
1 tag
Chatting has its limits you know...
Me: Almost completely moved!
Paul: Cool.
What's your new address?
Me: uuuuuuhhhhh.....
I had it written down.
You can't just trace my IP?
Paul: BRB FBI
1 tag
Well...
friend: it is a lot easier now that brad isn't around
i'm not drinking the crap that he drank. i don't feel pressured to "keep up"
me: YAY
You did good.
Getting rid of that
friend: yep. now i just have to tell him at some point. lol
October 2010
5 posts
a grammar: offended by rank OBJECTIFICATION of... →
agrammar:
There is this thing currently going around tumblr about why dating a writer is good. I think it’s nice that this thing is going around, because I like writers, and lots of us could use more dates. As a writer who has dated people, though — including other writers — I would like to offer some…
2 tags
In the flickering light - a statement on Spirit...
The damage is still there. I see it every so often as I polish my new exterior. Shiny coat of happiness and contentment with one I adore and who does the same, but there is rust underneath and you know how rust is, right? It eats away at you.
You cannot change who you love. And you should not be punished for having human feelings. There’s a kind of responsibility on either side to keep...
2 tags
LRN2FCKINGTWTTR - an instructional post for the...
AVOID LIBERAL USE OF THE FOLLOWING ON YOUR ACCOUNT FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS:
1. #HASHTAGS #for #fucking #everything #If #your #tweets #are #all #hashtags, #chances #are #noone #is #following #you #much. 2. BLIP MANIA - All blips, all the time. You like music. How cool. Maybe you should go listen to it and disconnect Twitter. 3. FORMSPRING NEEDS TO DIE NOW - There’s only so many questions people...
June 2010
1 post
1 tag
The Signs of Imminent Nerdism
- Luke: My kid is becoming a nerd.
- Luke: She's glued to Star Trek.
- Friend: lol
- Friend: that's cute.
- Luke: If by cute you mean she is setting up for social persecution during school and an overall memory of a disappointing upbringing, then yes, that's cute.
May 2010
1 post
Men say the darnedest things.
- Luke: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1281502/Teen-tennis-star-Simona-Halep-breast-reduction-surgery-boost-game.html
- Luke: FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
- friend: what's a reduction?
- Luke: A tragedy.
April 2010
6 posts
1 tag
Drinking Games. O.o
- Friend: wait, then why were you talking about games you were playing LAST night?
- Luke: Oh... I meant the rounds we played last night.
- Luke: 2 laggy games, 1 dropped.
- Friend: LAST NIGHT?
- Luke: And the next two that we won, you and I weren't in 1st/2nd.
- Luke: Ya... You and I... Played MW2 at midnight last night.
- Friend: No way!
- Luke: /sigh.
- Luke: really? You don't remember?
- Luke: You texted me at midnight.
- Friend: Seriously?!
- Luke: -.-
- Friend: lol
- Friend: holy shits, i don't remember that at all
- Luke: check your phone dude.
- Luke: look at our texts.
- Friend: wow, i gotta stop drinking
- Luke: lol
- Friend: lol
- Friend: ...well ...um how did we do?
1 tag
1 tag
Oops.
coworker: customer would like to take this opportunity to announce how unfit for autonomous living they are, and will henceforth surrender to the local FEMA camp.
coworker: oooh, I know
coworker: substitution
coworker: wrong chat
coworker: for the sub part
me: lol.
1 tag
Scary Carrie: Now with Cuteness
Stina: Damn. Scary Carrie getting cute. [shudder] I'm gonna have nightmares now of killer bunny rabbits wielding blood-soaked forks.
Stina: ...while singing Maynard.
Stina: >.
March 2010
6 posts
1 tag
Wtf.
coworker: so saying that near death = brain activity at death
coworker: is like saying there is nothing on the other side of the door
coworker: if the door is one no one ever returns from
coworker: but because we can see the brain sensing what it sees on the other side
coworker: we can say that there is nothing there
coworker: which is fucking stupid if you ask me :P
coworker: or if the only people that return
coworker: didn't go all the way through the door
coworker: i have been near death many times
coworker: the only one that was accompanied by any type of vision
coworker: was a hot brunette in a leather jacket standing by a black 57 Chevy parked by the water
coworker: saying "Come on. Come here." all cute like
coworker: soooo
coworker: I don't recall any floating or flowers
coworker: oh
coworker: and a Mace song was playing
coworker: I mean Mase
Me: I have no idea how to respond to this. O.o
2 tags
Cut the crap and let gays get married. →
This is okay but gay marriage isn’t. Umm. No.
(A man marries a pillow)
1 tag
Petroglyphs
Mike: (.o)===:::
Me: Petroglyph?
Me: O.O
Mike: :O
Mike: thats all emoticons really are
Mike: one day a future archaeologist will find an email
Mike: or a chat log
Mike: and try to decipher which gods the smileys represent
Mike: this is ZOMG, the god of happiness, and can be identified by this glyph :)
Mike: XD
1 tag
It was just a thought.
Him: We have plans this weekend?
Me: I think.
Me: Umm.
Me: Seems there was something...
Me: Damned if I remember what it was.
Him: Ya... But I don't remember anything.
Me: Oh
Me: Here it is.
Me: "Flee to the desert."
Me: Yes.
Me: That was my plan.
Me: With tequila apparently.
Him: lol
1 tag
Boys Do Cook, Right?
Me: Would you mind making the shells and cheese for lunch?
Me: Toss a can of tuna in it?
Him: uh.
Him: I can try.
Me: Easy
Me: Read the box.
Me: Open can, drain and dump the tuna in after the shells are done.
Me: Put cheese on top from squeezy package.
Him: Sounds complicated.
Him: So, I dump the can in and boil it with the water, than drain the pot and put cheese on the can.
Him: So... does the can evaporate?
Him: Would it make a difference if I used a non-tuna can?
Me: omg
Me: 0.o
February 2010
56 posts
1 tag
Uh, Mom? Guess what...
- friend: the only thing screaming James! JAMES! is your mom and i'm taking care of that right now, don't you worry
- Him: lol
- friend: please don't tell her i said that
1 tag
Out with Nonfam. BBL.
Him: It's just a dead title. It doesn't impart information. Infact, it requires more information to be clear.
Him: I'm gonna start using the title Nonfam.
Him: For people not in our family.
Him: So, I'll say, "I'm going to hang out with Nonfam." and leave everyone else to figure it out.
He makes this too easy
- His friend: hey, can i tell you something?
- Him: Is this like if we were in the movie, some kind of chimey angel music will start playing while the camera slowly closes in on me, watching for a face of expectation?
- Him: Cause if it is, keep it to yourself, chances are this a preteen romance and I have no want for it.
1 tag
What does a plane in a building look like?
coworker: I just heard the best thing ever...
coworker: Reporter in studio to reporter on the ground: "What's it look like out there, Bob?
coworker: Reporter on the ground: "Well, Diane if you can picture a 3 or 4 story building with an airplane literally stuck in the side of it; that's exactly what it looks like."
1938 vs Now
TH: I love this. Why didn't I live back then... I mean, I know there was rampant epidemics and poor labor laws.
TH: But that must have rocked coming home and being able to put the woman in line.
TH: And then settle down for a nice relaxing evening of... wait, there were no home PCs back then.
TH: Fuck that, we're better off where we are.
Me: martinis.
TH: That's a tough decision... Play computer games, or be able to beat the wife for disobedience.
TH: Tough call.
Me: And blame it on the martinis.
TH: Exactly.
TH: And even then, when the cops show up you could say anything. "She didn't clear the table." "We understand sir, not very prudent of her to do that after you've had your night cap."
TH = The Husband
reference: http://pbh3.tumblr.com/post/390543309/1938-dating-guide-for-single-women
'Wolfman' bites pt 3 (spoilers apparently)
TH: It was an hour and a half of a non story, and every scene was composed of overrun cliches.
TH: Character who are introduced by stepping out of shadow, the dog that's uneasy around everyone.
TH: The father who started the werewolf legacy (it was supposed to be the twist, but you see it coming a mile away).
TH: Oh, and there was a house servant. But I have no idea wtf he did around there.
TH: Every living area was covered in leaves and dirt and cobwebs.
TH: I could understand that from the rest of the mansion that is unused by the 3 people living in it...
But the common room? The entrance room?
TH: Really? No one has heard of a broom?
TH: It was just so hackneyed.
'Wolfman' bites pt 2
TH: And the worst part...
TH: The worst part...
TH: They dangle the hotty chick as some kind of sexual tension throughout the whole movie.
TH: And she never took her shirt off.
TH: There was a sideboob hallucination, but I think the viewer deserved more for sitting through that cinematic vomit fest.
TH: It was just so bad.
TH: And they had really good actors in it.
TH: And all of them had this look on their face like they could hear their career getting flushed.
'Wolfman' bites
TH: Oh god... The movie was so bad.
TH: Oh, and it did the double scare thing.
Me: Double scare?
TH: Not really scary stuff, it was just loud noise and something jumping at the screen.
TH: But it would do the cliche tense music, slow camera buildup.
TH: And then, nothing. Breathe sigh of relief. JUSTKIDDINGLOUD NOISEFLASHONSCREEN. Just kidding again, it was ANOTHERLOUDNOISEANDFLASHONSCREEN.
TH = The Husband
TGIT
Coworker: would have been nice if she had shown today
Coworker: oh yeah
Coworker: it's a Thursday
Coworker: someone needs to write "Wednesday Jr" over all the Thurs on her calendar
